You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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