He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
