in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
