That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
