Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
