It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
