Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
