So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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