somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
