At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize