apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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