Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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