She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
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