Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
