He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
