As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
