So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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