We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
