Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
