i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize