My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
