So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
