i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
