So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
