I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize