So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
