what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
