It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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