I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
