I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
