I wish I could teleport
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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