it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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