Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
