I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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