My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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