Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
