Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
