So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
In America we eat man semen.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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