Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
