3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
