dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize