do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
