Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So vagazzling was a success
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
