I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
