i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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