why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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