dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
