when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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