So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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