Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
