If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
