yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Who wears a wallet chain?!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
