Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
