It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
