Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
