flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
they call him Oral-B. enough said
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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