Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
