Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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