And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
