I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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