if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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