so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
