Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
