I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
