Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
