You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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