Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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