Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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