After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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